Last night my world was turned upside down

By: iamblondelebanese

Jan 18 2013

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Last night a series of things went wrong. First it was my iPad, then my husband’s laptop, and then the phones…all stopped working. Trying to determine what the problem was, I entered the room where all things digital are located, the family room which was lovingly built by my gather and grandfather when I was a child with beautiful paneling, the welcoming fireplace that I could see the problem: in my father’s hands were a jumble of wires, phone lines, the cords to the modem and the little black box that allows me to be online. As I gently asked him to move over so I could try and repair the problem, astonishingly I saw that he was not the same man whom I spoke with earlier in the day. He refused to allow me to try and connect everything had taken apart. He started yelling at me and told me to leave. I continued to speak gently to him, as always, and he continued getting more and more angry because I would not go away. My father then started threatening me that he was just going to knock me down if I didn’t leave. This I HAD to take seriously because he is much stronger than I am due to my having just had hip replacement surgery.

Through my tear filled eyes I was able to see that nothing was ever going to be the same again. This man was no longer the father that I have cherished and loved with all of my heart, now threatening to hurt me. This was my introduction to the latest stage of Alzheimer’s that has taken away my daddy. And I don’t know what to do. I want to be anywhere else than here, in the loving home that I grew up in. My world and my heart has been ripped apart and shredded into pieces. Of course I knew that my father was going to be changed by his disease. I just didn’t expect it to happen suddenly last night, without any previous warning. He had been so sweet and gentle towards me yesterday, as he always is.

As I stood there, watching him in utter disbelief, I turned toward my mother. She was oblivious to what was happening right beside her. My mother suffers from Dementia and is often oblivious to the world around her but usually I can get her to understand when something serious is happening. But not last night.

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